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Leaving an abusive relationship is never easy and the journey becomes even more challenging when housing instability, financial dependence, and the deep-rooted effects of generational trauma are part of the equation. These additional obstacles can make it even more difficult to find safety, stability, and healing. In fact, in Ontario 65% of women leaving emergency shelters moved into Insecure Housing¹. One quarter of those returned to their abuser².

In Manitoba, the waitlist for affordable housing is substantial. As of May 2024, there were 6,079 applicants awaiting placement³ -a number that has been steadily increasing. Depending on the unit size, location, and overall demand, wait times can range from six months to two years or even longer.

Shelters are frequently full, and affordable housing options are limited. Survivors often face impossible choices as they try to keep their families safe – worrying about the impact of housing instability on their children, the potential for involvement from child welfare systems, or the emotional toll of uprooting their lives.

Economic Abuse and Financial Dependence

Economic abuse is a powerful tool of control. Abusers may prevent their partners from working, control access to money, or sabotage employment opportunities. This financial dependence traps survivors in the relationship, unable to save up enough to find alternative housing, or even the funds to travel to family or friends who would shelter them.

Even after leaving, survivors often face significant financial hurdles: debt incurred by the abuser, poor credit, and gaps in employment. These challenges can make it difficult to secure housing, find employment, or access legal assistance.

In some cases, abusers accumulate debt in the survivor’s name without their consent, leading to a damaged credit score. This coerced debt can hinder a survivor’s ability to rent an apartment, obtain a loan, or even secure certain jobs⁴.

Employment stability is also compromised. Survivors often face challenges that hinder their ability to secure and maintain employment, ultimately affecting their financial independence and the opportunity to be self-reliant.

The Impact of Generational Trauma

For some, the cycle of abuse began long before their current relationship. Growing up in an environment where violence was normalized can make it harder to recognize abuse or believe that a healthier life is possible. This generational trauma can lead to feelings of unworthiness, fear of change, and a lack of trust in support systems, particularly if they’ve been failed by authority figures or social structures in the past.

Breaking free requires not just physical safety, but also healing from deep-seated emotional wounds. It involves rebuilding self-esteem, learning to trust again, and envisioning a future free from violence. When the violence is part of the culture and understanding of community, this can be nearly impossible.

Why Survivors Stay or Return

Survivors stay or return for many reasons: fear of retaliation, concern for their children, financial dependence, lack of support, and hope that things will improve. Abusers often isolate their partners, making it harder to seek help. They may use threats, manipulation, or control over finances to maintain power. Additionally, many victims return to abusive relationships because they are driven by the basic necessities of life. They are not financially secure, don’t have anywhere to go, and do not want to live in a shelter.

Understanding these barriers is crucial. Judgment and blame only add to the survivor’s burden. Instead, we must offer empathy, support, and resources to help them navigate their path to safety.

In Summary

Violence is not an easy or simple thing to pull out of a relationship or society. Here at Bravestone, we work to be a resource, providing counselling, financial literacy education, and a stable place to rest and recuperate in. We’re one portion of the ecosystem; to truly create avenues for survivors to leave their abusers and live comfortable, safe lives, a variety of resources are needed, both in the emergent immediacy, and also well into the future as they work to heal and recover from their experiences.

 

– By Shay Funk

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¹ Insecure Housing refers to (a hotel, motel or short-term rental; an encampment for people experiencing
homelessness; to stay in a friend or family member’s home; or returned to live with their abuser)
² Nowhere to Go, Canadian Centre for Housing Rights
³ Subsidized housing supply can’t meet rising demand, advocates say, Winnipeg Free Press
¹⁴ What is Coerced Debt, Canadian Centre for Women’s Empowerment

If you’d like to support the efforts of Bravestone Centre, please consider donating through CanadaHelps. You can view other ways to help, as well as find our charitable registration and information on our Support Page. 

If you or someone you know is experiencing violence inside the home, please consider reaching out to the following resources. Remember, you are not alone.

Manitoba Domestic Violence Information/Crisis Line: 1-877-977-0007
Kids Help Line: 1-800-668-6868 (or text CONNECT to 686868)
Suicide Crisis Helpline: #988
Manitoba Suicide Prevention & Support Line: 1-877-435-7170
Manitoba Farm, Rural, & Northern Support Services: 1-866-367-3276