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Rhonda Elias-Penner is Bravestone’s new Executive Director. She took some time recently to talk about herself, Bravestone, and the future.

Tell me a bit about yourself, what brought you to Bravestone?

Like everything in life, it’s a journey. And I’ve always had a passion for community health and wellness, but especially when it comes to children. As a teenager, I did a lot of work; teaching swimming, and volunteering for different organizations related to children, leading me to an interest in early childhood education, and that’s where I focused my early days of my career as a new ECE 3, which gave me an opportunity to develop skills around child development.

Eventually I went to work in a day hospital program where I got to learn a little bit more about different needs of children, social, emotional, but as well as developmental, getting immersed in different neurodiverse conditions such as FASD [Fetal Alcohol Spectrum Disorder] and ADHD and Autism. And little did I know that this experience would prepare me for parenthood, even more than I expected. When my second son was a baby, I was able to identify symptoms and concerns with his development, which prompted a conversation with his pediatrician, and a referral to a child development specialist where he was diagnosed with autism before the age of two, which is a lot more common now than it was then.

That set the stage for me to become an advocate for him and support other families by going through the same challenges. Once he started school full time, I decided to go back to school myself and took the Applied Counselling program. For my practicum, I ended up at an inner-city community organization. My intentions at the time were to finish my practicum and go work with neurodiverse families specifically.

Instead, I fell in love with the community, and I learned even more about how our environment impacts our development, behavior, and outcomes in life, not just cognitive or congenital factors, and how an individual’s own desire for change can be the driving force in their own resilience and strength, despite the situation they are in .It was truly inspiring! Over the next 15 years I guided and lead this frontline grassroots agency, supporting parents and families with essential needs, financial empowerment opportunities, counselling, family care and wellness, and child development and school readiness creating this multifaceted organization housing an adult resource center, Early childhood education focused on secure attachments using the Abecedarian Approach, and volunteer training and job education space.

Intimate partner violence was very common, connected to different social and economic aspects, but also a lot to do with history here, a history of marginalization, colonization, discrimination and racism, and the patterns abuse and trauma leading to substance use and mental health challenges,  that so  many of our Indigenous families face, and that  many of our newcomer families have faced in their country of origin prior to settling here. I was able to move into this role in a very organic way, that directly supports healing and creating healthier patterns and relationships so that women and children can be successful in reaching their goals in life, for safe, healthy, and unified families.

I look forward to continuing Bravestone’s amazing work in the area of Gender Based Violence while enhancing relationships in the community by building new partnerships with organizations, expanding Bravestone’s support services for our clientele.

What I love about Bravestone is the intensive work that our counseling team does with the women and the children, that helps to unveil, just like an onion, these layers of different challenges; not just the relationship that they just came out of, but examining the relationships over the years, their own patterns of coping with life, what they witnessed and how they perceived relationships growing up in their own families,  and how these factors have played a part in their current life situations. Being able to facilitate the process of healing and realizing how we as humans, can internalize things like toxicity and violence in a home or in a relationship and adopt it as being normal.

It’s incredible to see what emerges when that process is carefully unpacked.

I don’t think anyone can fully work through all of that and build a healthier foundation for relationships without some form of guidance—whether through education or the support of someone who can sit with them, walk through it step by step, and help them along the way.

What does your role entail?

There’s key components; supporting the team and following the mission to provide the women and children intensive counselling and programming that’s safe and in a secure living environment, ensuring that the financial and administration reporting and ethical responsibilities are maintained.

Additionally, there’s stabilization and the health of the organization, creating a safe and secure environment for participants and staff that help guide their success in programming, as well as working collaboratively with the board in a strategic direction, ensuring that that plan is being carried out in day-to-day operations. It’s been a little over a month that I’ve been here now and last week one day I came in, I started doing emails then reviewed my list of what I was going to work on that day and I thought to myself, “oh my gosh, I feel like I’m just settled in now.”

A big piece of that is our own communication and relationship between programs, internally, and between organizations, externally, so that there’s a more smooth and direct sort of stepping platform for us to all follow when we get a call about an intake. Because if it’s not a fit for us, we may say, “well, try calling this organization”. If we can have those relationships and really understand the ins and outs of the different organizations and what their specifications are, I think that will be very beneficial.

Is there something about the role that’s surprised you?

Well, it’s funny, because not so much with the role itself, as I said, the technical part of the role is something that I’m very familiar with.

But more specifically to Bravestone, the work that we do here and its niche. That was even more evident, sitting in a room full of 37 other organizations that provide domestic violence or family violence support and intimate partner violence support to women and children, but in a different way;  everything from emergency shelters to transitional housing to, long term counseling, and specifically being an intimate partner violence support organization.

There’s only three in Manitoba that do this specific work in the way that we do, with specific guidelines for acceptance into the program and being a year long term, potentially more, with counseling, programming, parenting support, recovery and healing.

What project are you most looking forward to working on right now?

Embedding more Indigenous teachings and culture into Bravestone’s programming. Its something that was part of the last 2 strategic plans, so it’s a goal of the board, staff and clientele. I have already started doing a little bit of work on this, communicating with the team, making prayer ties and putting them in a basket in our group space for the women to help themselves to and have a date set in July to sit in circle with an Elder with much experience in working with families experiencing violence and addictions. We will be receiving some teachings and talk about what will be helpful for both the team and for the participants in Bravestone.

Due to the confidentiality of the people who are here, it may not be always possible for the Elder to work directly with our participants. Certainly, within our space it would be, but to go out and do something like medicine picking may not be an option.

But we want to make sure that we’re able, as a team, to offer that knowledge and those learnings from the Elder to our participants whether you’re Indigenous or non-Indigenous, many people do find connection and healing with the Indigenous ceremonies.

Another goal I have is being able to enhance the services we offer by ensuring better preparedness, as people are exiting the program into community; making sure they have a network of resources around them, whether they need food, whether they need additional counseling support, maybe they have a loss they’ve experienced, and then they’re needing maybe some support around that. Perhaps they’re having trouble with their children’s behavior, they need additional parenting support. So when they leave these walls, we want to ensure that they can connect with those resources, we want to empower them to be able to advocate for themselves.

Sometimes that means creating some of those relationships and making those connections before they’ve left Bravestone. That’s something that I must keep reminding myself; that balance between those two areas, maintaining their safety and security while they’re here. And what is feasible and the focus on the intensive counseling.

It’s heavy work, it’s difficult work, it’s exhausting work.

We don’t want to detract from that work by having all these other activities and organizations to connect them to. But at the same time, we want to make sure that they are connected.

The other thing is working on our new strategic goal for the fall, as well as maybe having our own independent space, which is a very high priority for both the board and the staff.

So excited about those things. I love that we have modern psychology and psychiatry and all of these things, but understanding our culture and what you come from, and there’s such a deep part of who a person is, you can never be rid of it. And it has such great value, not just inherently and emotionally, but there is actual practical use there.

How do you decompress after a tough situation or day?

It sounds simple, but breathing. I’ve been doing Kirtan yoga for the past three years, and it really focuses on breathing, centering yourself, calming yourself. It’s not about poses and what you can or cannot do, or your body strength. It’s more about just taking your own temperature on where things are internally.

One of the great things Lori left me with was teaching me, again, because I had lost some of my reminders about self-care prior to coming here, making sure that I’m taking lunches, that I’m not running around. There’s going to be days that are busy, there’s going to be unexpected emergencies that come up, but taking that in stride and not getting overwhelmed is key.

And then I guess at the end of the day, my self-care is puppy love. I get to go home to my three dogs, because my husband rescued another one a week ago.

What’s one tip or trick that you use often in a week?

I guess my tip and trick that I’ve had to use since turning 50 is sticky notes. Do not ever assume that you’ll remember, you’ll never remember.

If I could give you a megaphone at 8 am at Portage and Main, what would you say? (AKA, what’s one thing you’d like to tell everyone about Bravestone?)

I would say that healing is essential for social change. There are so many different ideas when people walk around the streets of Winnipeg, they see things that are very concerning. They see things that are very difficult and challenging.

And so many people have ideas, we need more government support, we need more money, we need more this, we need more housing. And it’s true.

But we also need, most importantly, healing, because without that, there’s no foundation. If people don’t know how to have healthier relationships, and stronger cultural connections, there will not be lasting change across generations. We didn’t just get to this state that we’re in, in the last few years, because of COVID. It’s been generations of challenges, of trauma, of difficulties, and wars across the world that have led to where we are now. Healing is critical.

Is there a misconception about Bravestone’s work that you’d like to correct?

Sticking with the theme of healing, it’s not just about the actual abuse or the actual situation or the individual that perpetrated the abuse.

They’re here for a year in this safe space, and it’s a safe space to be with support around them. I think sometimes people don’t realize the intensity and the in-depth trauma counseling that they receive here at Bravestone. Our programming is based on attachment, not just between parents and children, but it’s also about the parents’ own attachment needs, and building that trust within themselves.

There’s a lot of focus on them being in a safe space as opposed to the actual work that’s being done and that they are doing undergoing while they’re here.

Is there a question I haven’t asked that you’d like to answer anyway?

I guess just looking ahead for Bravestone. What does the future look like? Building more community partnerships and connections, so that we can enhance transitions back into community for residents after they complete the program.

The other piece is our own freestanding building, improving safety and support for residents, but also more programming space, more outdoor space. Just more space to breathe available to people while they’re here so that it doesn’t feel like they’re so secluded.

– By Shay Funk

If you’d like to support the efforts of Bravestone Centre, please consider donating through CanadaHelps. You can view other ways to help, as well as find our charitable registration and information on our Support Page.

If you or someone you know is experiencing violence inside the home, please consider reaching out to the following resources. Remember, you are not alone.

Manitoba Domestic Violence Information/Crisis Line: 1-877-977-0007
Kids Help Line: 1-800-668-6868 (or text CONNECT to 686868)
Suicide Crisis Helpline: #988
Manitoba Suicide Prevention & Support Line: 1-877-435-7170
Manitoba Farm, Rural, & Northern Support Services: 1-866-367-3276